Dysfunctional Backyard Babies

Dysfunctional Relationships vs. Healthy Relationships
How would you describe your relationship? If you knew that there were very clear distinctions that separate a dysfunctional relationship from a healthy one, would that make a difference to you? If so, read on. Discover the differences and take the little test at the end. You might be surprised by what you learn.
Many relationships are dysfunctional because they contain “faulty programs” downloaded from past relationships. Most people are not consciously aware of this, but in fact, it has been shown to be true. This is why people find themselves dealing with the same types of issues over and over again no matter how many partners they may have.
Whether it is money, sex, jealousy, fidelity, or any number of other issues, to some degree or another, the theme is the same for them in the current relationship as those of the past.
A dysfunctional relationship has certain qualities about it. These qualities are as follows:
1. A sense that you have to fit into someone else's perception of what is right or wrong in order to be loved.
2. You feel confirmed. Change to: confined.
3. There is always something to fix in the relationship.
4. You feel like you're settling.
5. Who you are is diminished in the relationship.
6. Your needs are not met in one way or another.
7. You're never going to be good enough.
8. You feel trapped.
9. Being there is not what you really want, but you're afraid to leave.
10. You find other ways to satisfy yourself to keep your mind off how unhappy you are in the situation.
11. When it's good, it's really good, but when it's bad it's horrible.
These are just some of the signs of a typical dysfunctional relationship.
On the other hand, a healthy relationship has these characteristics:
1. You feel honored.
2. You feel more alive.
3. There is nurturing and support for you to become more of who you are.
4. There is strength coming from your partner allowing you to explore ways to expand into new territories.
5. There is trust.
6. The goals are the same, even though the ways of expressing them may be different.
7. Each brings healing into the other through depth and security.
8. The relationship causes you to create a new dynamic based on the future rather than on what has been known in the past.
9. There seems to be a knowing about the other person that goes beyond this time and space, as if you had known each other before.
10. Your partner is more than you would have known to ask for.
11. You wonder how you ever got this lucky.

http://www.soulpoint.com/newrelationships.html