44 Woes in Belgrade

Battle of Belgrade

PAYBACK911

44 PROBLEMS IN BELGRADE

BELGRADE.COM

• Here it goes, in random, almost alphabetical order:
1. Always different price for the same distance in a cab.
2. Bicycle path that’s not in very good condition – how expensive can it be to make it a bit more respectable?
3. Bus drivers racing each other.
4. Cab drivers playing obnoxious music and smoking while you have to listen or try to rebel if you make an assessment that you can handle the discussion.
5. Cars parked in a way so you have to get around them. Belgrade generally has a huge parking problem – too many cars and too little space, particularly in the city center. In case of such a car, lift one of its windshield wipers in an upright position. Leaving an angry note is also considered a common way of expressing your dissatisfaction but you won’t have the time for that, and it’s a great chance that the owner speaks only Serbian so it won’t matter much to him. If you happen to have a knife, you can punctuate the tires or scratch the paint with a key.
6. Cars, trucks, busses, chariots parked in the middle of the busy street (especially Bulevar Revolucije and Vojvode Stepe).
7. Children who are without control and unattended, climbing other people, shouting, screaming and being generally irritating.
8. Dirty toilets seem to be trademarks of some cafes and restaurants. Everybody has given up on public restrooms a long time ago.
9. Dog doo doo all over the place. Nobody collects after their pets here, and even if the law would be enforced, it would probably be neglected.
10. Elections, when the whole city is a billboard and the smiling faces of candidates look at you from everywhere – be prepared this December.
11. Enormous holes in some streets in the center, and even more of those outside of center that don’t come from the bombing, but look like they do. They fix them fast, they appear even faster.
12. Even though the streets are being washed daily, it’s impossible for washers to keep up with those who litter. Those who litter the most, on the other hand complain that street washers are just too slow and lazy.
13. Expensive new cars and SUVs that don’t respect red traffic lights.
14. Getting a bubble gum instead of the change in a shop. A good trick is to collect those bubble gums and return them one day in exchange for… one bread, for example.
15. Graffiti that don’t make much sense. If you’re going to destroy a wall, at least do it with style.
16. Hell for drivers and drivers from hell.
17. Improperly installed air-conditions that drip so you have to avoid being dripped on while walking about.
18. Jaywalkers with a death wish.
19. Lazy and not-so-kind waiters. Least they can do is smile, least that you can do is not tip them.
20. Making traditional specialty «Sour cabbage» in the basement of a building. That way, everyone gets to enjoy the smell, not only those making it.
21. Underground passage in Zeleni Venac with all the sellers and buyers in it.
22. People getting into a buss before you go out.
23. People talking on a cell phone or fixing make-up while trying to park.
24. People who don’t use soap as much as they should (especially in public transportation).
25. People who terrorize other people with their mobile phones: usually obnoxiously loud with idiotic conversations, or teenagers checking the melodies on their cell phone with full volume.
26. People who urinate in building entrances and haustors.
27. Racists and xenophobes are not a majority of any country or city, but they usually make a lot of noise, so it seems there are more of them. And that’s irritating.
28. Rebuilding, upbuilding, sub-building and all kinds of «art» works on an existing object without style, taste, permission and regularly not adequate with the environment nor surroundings. Usually these works require a big chunk of sidewalk for keeping concrete, sand, wires and other construction material.
29. Roads and streets under construction for all eternity.
30. Senior citizens – old enough to be considers endangered species, but strong enough to fight for the best strategic position before the buss stops at the station so they can enter first.
31. Some people hate stray dogs, others hate non-humane ways of taking them off the streets. In any way, stray dogs can represent a problem when you’re riding a bicycle.
32. Spitting on the streets, usually like it’s a kind of Olympic sport.
33. Strahinica Bana Street can be irritating, not only to those who live in that street, but to the passers-by. If you’re interested what values are appreciated in Belgrade these days, take a walk down this street in a warm evening.
34. Taking roasted pigs, lambs or similar stuff with you in any kind of public transportation won’t get you any friends.
35. Changing names of the streets is equally irritating for locals as it is for you.
36. Taxi drivers who don’t know to find your destination.
37. Taxi drivers who tune their taxi meters so that they run faster, ergo making your wallet thinner don’t try their luck only on foreigners, but on locals too. The solution is to be stronger than the taxi driver or to ask for the bill with the vehicle number and company name and to try and report the driver if you feel you’ve been had.
38. Taxi vehicles falling apart while you’re riding them.
39. The train station and the area around it are some of the worst in Belgrade. This could be the place of your first sight of Belgrade, because a lot of foreigners come to Belgrade by train. Don’t be frightened, it’s not all like that.
40. Trash being left by the dumpster, not in the dumpster.
41. Trash dumpsters on fire and people who set trash dumpsters on fire.
42. Trying to throw in the trash in a dumpster without getting out of a building or room.
43. Unkind clerks, salesmen, and all kinds of unkind people.
44. Using a car horn in every possible occasion, like that is going to improve the situation.

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